Where’s the Voldemort horse? Oops, I mean “He-who-must-not-be-neighed”.

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I’ve heard he’s a ruff grader.

“According to this book, I can’t read.”

I need to figure out how to get my cat to read more. He either just sits in front of the TV all day watching Big Cat Diary, or goes online to look at LOLcat pictures, which is teaching him horrible grammar and spelling to be honest.

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“I’m curious about the whereabouts of my breakfast.”

Those glasses prove that dogs really are colorblind. Everyone knowns that blue and brindle don’t go together.

I think I saw this dog the other day, except he was wearing a fedora and custom fitted skinny jeans. I’m pretty sure they were Pretension for Canines by Calvin Klein.

What cat? I don’t even… Oh! There you are.